Tuesday, February 19, 2013

10 Ways to Lose Your Internship

By Kelsey McWilliams, junior journalism major at CU-Boulder

Now that you’ve landed your dream internship, you may think the pressure’s off to be professional and courteous. Wrong. If you want to lose your internship after all the hard work you’ve put into landing it, then most definitely do all of these things below. However, if you want to keep your internship and these bad habits remind you of yourself, then change your path now because you’re about to self-destruct! Get on a better path where you can be proud of who you are and the work that you do.

If you want to lose your internship, then definitely:

1. Show up late. Stroll into the office half an hour late with Starbucks in hand. People will notice that you’re late and will see exactly why. Coffee was definitely more important than the meeting with your boss, right?

2. Complain constantly. Since the work you have to do at your internship is so boring and helping you in no way, make sure to look really bored and complain a lot. Then, take it a step further and ask your boss for a recommendation letter. I’m sure he/she will have great things to say about your work ethic.

3. Ask questions you can easily find out the answers to. Pretend as if Google doesn’t exist and bother your boss with as many questions as you can think of. Definitely don’t take initiative and solve problems on your own. Your co-workers are going to love you!

4. Dress inappropriately. Wear only outfits that you would also wear to the bars – the more skin showing, the better. Or even better, dress in the wrinkled clothes you slept in last night. So fashionable!

5. Expect to be thanked and rewarded for everything you do. You have such an important position at the company that you should definitely expect hand-written thank you notes for each task you complete. If you don’t get these, then act like a three-year-old and throw a hissy fit until someone notices.

6. Come to work hungover. Stay out until at least 4am every night before work. Make sure to roll out of bed right before work in the morning without making yourself look presentable and smelling like a bar. People love this look.

7. Stay connected with your friends. Don’t miss a single text or phone call from your friends during work, no matter what you’re doing. That report you’re working on can wait, right? You just got a text from Ashley that says, “OMG.” It must be really important. Respond right away, even if you’re in a meeting with your boss.

8. Tweet and post statuses at work. Make sure to let the world know what a horrible day you’re having at work and how excited you are to leave. Hopefully your boss follows you on Twitter too!

9. Talk about inappropriate things. Spill the beans to everyone about your boyfriend or girlfriend, the party you went to last night and how much you had to drink. The list goes on and on with all the drama that everyone hears from you and you’ll be the center of attention.

10. Act ungrateful. You’re getting paid minimum wage, or better yet – not getting paid at all, so it’s totally fine to act like you’re doing them a favor. After all, this internship is purely for your resume and your benefit, right? You’ll be sure to be the first person on their hiring list with this kind of attitude.

Don’t forget to follow these 10 steps for a quick ride to unemployment, not to mention horrible references. If you’d like to keep your internship, however, pay even more attention to these 10 mistakes – are you guilty of any of them? It’s never too late to break these terrible habits and become the best intern, rather than the worst.