Shy? Hate Networking? Here's a New Approach That Won't Make You Want to Hide in a Corner

By Sue Matson, Brazan Careerist       

When you’re in the market for a new job, what’s the same piece of advice you hear over and over?

NETWORK! YOU NEED TO NETWORK!

And there’s good reason why people give you that advice. Experts estimate that anywhere from 60 to 80 percent of people find jobs through personal contacts.

But what if you don’t have a network with which to, well, network? Let’s start with the excuses reasons why you might not have a network to tap:

• You just graduated from college.
• You just moved to a new city and don’t know anyone yet.
• You’re changing industries.
• You don’t want the people you work with now to know you’re looking.
• You’re just not good at networking.

If you’re making any of these excuses, it’s time to get over it!

Take a new approach to networking

You’re a human being, right? You know other human beings, right? You have parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, old friends, new friends, current neighbors, past neighbors, former classmates, former teachers or professors, maybe a community or church group you belong to, the guys you play basketball (or softball or flag football) with, the girls in your book club, the people you chat with at the health club… And on and on.

And don’t even get me started on your social networks.

The average American knows about 600 people. And if those 600 people know another 600 each, that’s 360,000 people! If that’s not a big enough network for you to work with, you have too much time on your hands.

But sometimes people say, “Those people don’t know anyone in my industry. They can’t help me find a job.” The truth is, you have no idea who the people you know also know. (Click here to tweet this thought.) Or who they know who may also know someone else who could help you. That’s why “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon” is such a fun game to play. But I digress.

In networking, the whole point is to cast your net broadly to see what leads, contacts and ideas you can reel in.

How to tap your “non-network” network

Here’s the real secret behind networking: The people in your network won’t find you a job. But what they can do is connect you to people who know other people. And those people may know just that person who has a job you’d be perfect for.

1. Make the biggest, broadest list of everybody you know

Your only two criteria for adding anyone to this list are:

• The person is breathing.
• The person will recognize either your name or the name of the person who connected you to them. (“We both lived on 3 Allen sophomore year,” or “I’m a friend of your sister Penelope.”)

2. Prioritize your list as follows:

• Extroverts who know a lot of people. (They’ll be “above-average” on  how many people they can connect you to.)
• People who “owe you one” because you’ve done them a favor or lent them assistance in the past. Now’s the time to collect on your debt.
• People who seem like they probably like helping people (or at least, would like to help you).

Believe it or not, it doesn’t matter whether they have any connection to the industry or job you’re interested in. If they do, that’s gravy. But it shouldn’t be your only reason for contacting someone in your network. Keep in mind you don’t know who else they know. Remember… 600 people.

3. Know what you need from them and how to ask for it

Now that you have your list categorized, it’s time to start reaching out. Here’s how the basic conversation should go: Start with, “I’m interested in (blank) job or industry.” Next, ask one or all of the following questions:

• Do you know anything about that industry or this type of position?
• Do you know anyone who works in it or a related one?
• Can you think of anyone you know who I should talk to? Would you connect me with them?

That’s it. Keep it simple. Remember, you’re not asking them to help you find a job. Honestly, that tends to make most people uncomfortable. You’re just trying to find out if they know anyone (or know someone who might know someone) who can give you some info or advice.
Some people say this approach to networking is like searching for a needle in a haystack. And sometimes it is. If you’ve got a big, robust professional network you’ve been building for years, then you don’t need this approach.

But if you don’t, you have a choice. You can either spend time searching for jobs online and sending your resume again and again to computers that won’t read it. Or you can find a few real, breathing human beings you already know — or someone who knows them — who can give you real info, advice and ultimately access to that perfect job.

So stop saying you don’t have a network. You do. Everybody has one. You just have to use it.

Sue Matson is partner with Executive Coaching firm rd&partners in Chicago, IL. Her clients enjoy her practical, straightforward advice and her ability to help them focus on what’s most important to their career success. Read more articles like this on her blog.

Brazen powers real-time, online events for leading organizations around the world. Our lifestyle and career blog, Brazen Life, offers fun and edgy ideas for ambitious professionals navigating the changing world of work.

Attention CU students/alumni and Boulder professionals, be sure to signup for expert networking guru, Nancy Chin-Wagner's,  PowerConnections Network Mixer! It will be held at Cantina Laredo Thursday May 1st from 5:30-7:30pm. The cost is $15 dollars through online registration and $20 dollars at the door (includesfood). This is the PERFECT opportunity to start your networking process and use the tips form the article listed above. I hope to see you there!

Hat tip: Lauren Lind 

The Power of Networking: Utilizing Your Connections to Make Your Dreams Come True

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-->Written by Lauren Lind

This past November I decided that I wanted to move to New York City after I graduate in May. At that point in time I had no plans or ideas of how I was going to make that dream come true. A month later, I found out that the CU Advertising Collective was going to New York over spring break for their annual trip. I took that as a sign that my dream of moving to New York was, in fact, possible!

I began the networking process by talking to my advertising professor who ran a very large advertising agency in NYC before she came to teach at CU. I respect this professor a lot and she was very supportive of my aspirations. She told me, “Picking up and moving to New York was the best decision I ever made.” She then sent a message via LinkedIn to her former students who are living and working in NYC asking them if they would be willing to meet with me just to give me some insights and advice.

I was pleasantly surprised at the amount of people who responded and were willing to meet with me! From there, I had 14 more contacts in New York than I had before. I met with these amazing people while I was In New York and had the opportunity to tour many offices including Twitter and Foursquare, and received tons of useful advice regarding job searching, interviewing, my resume, and moving to the city. I was in awe of how helpful and wonderful people were to me.

At a Bolder Young Professionals event, a networking group in Boulder, I met networking guru Nancy-Chin Wagner. I did not know who she was before being introduced to her, but soon found not only is she one of the coolest ladies around, but she grew up in the Bronx and worked in New York for many years. I explained my goal to her and she whipped out her phone and gave me the phone number of a former CU alumnus who moved to NYC after graduation four years ago. I called the alumna and we scheduled a time to meet while I was in NYC. Once I was there, she gave me many tips regarding apartment hunting and introduced me to another CU alumnus. He has been so helpful with job searching and connecting me with people who are looking to hire in the city.

Nancy also put me into contact with her niece who lives in Chinatown. When I was there she showed me where I could get authentic Chinese food (which was delicious!) and she also sent me some media-related job openings. It amazes me that I met all these people just by simply approaching one person at a networking event.

Another event that greatly helped my networking process was Career Services Executives Tell All Panel in February. I listened to executive, Cathie Black’s, story of graduating college and moving to NYC with friends. I felt inspired to see someone who started off just like me and has now accomplished so much. Cathie is the past Chairman/President of Hearst Publishing, an author, past President of USA Today, a former NYC schools chancellor, and many more accomplishments. I approached her after the panel and although I felt a bit intimidated, I asked for her contact information and told her my goals and that I would be in New York over spring break. She gave me her contact info agreed to meet with me while I was in NYC.

Not only was she willing to meet with me, but she also was willing to help me connect with people in New York! Cathie introduced me to her friend who is the founder of a fantastic PR firm and I was lucky to be able to discuss their internship program! I was also awestruck by the fact that such an accomplished businesswoman was willing to help me find job and internship opportunities. Cathie at one point told me that “following up is key,” and it definitely has been an important piece of advice. Following up with Cathie led to me finding out about this wonderful internship opportunity!

The power of networking has changed my life and has turned my dreams of moving to NYC into an actual action plan. Following up and thanking everyone for his or her time is also very important when it comes to networking. Networking can happen anywhere at any time, so be prepared. You never know how the people you meet can change your life!

If you are unsure about where to network in Boulder, Bolder Young Professionals hosts great networking events every month, and I would highly recommend joining this group as a current student or even as a seasoned professional. I have learned to be open to talking with as many people as possible and learning as much as I can because wonderful opportunities can arise from the most unplanned meetings!